Posted on October 22, 2017
Dear Fellow Comrade,
Above ⬆️ you’ll find one of my receipts! I can’t give y’all all my personal files sheesh–but this shows y’all I’m legit. And no, I don’t need to embellish ANY of my experiences cause my wild, crazy self has lived through it all!! #FACTS…Now shall we? Is it?in here or is it?in here? Am I the only one flush right now? I know I was 17 when I enlisted, but I’ve been 18 for about a month now–so yeah, he’s staring right into the eyes of a woman! “What will I need to do in return sir?” I asked in a sexy undertone, leaning forward too. “You need to promise to put all of this mess behind you. When you return, I need you to finish your training,” he answered back. “Can you do that for me?” he requested. (I can’t do THAT but I can do something else I thought jokingly to myself.) “Is that it sir?” I asked kinda disappointed. “Yes, that’s it. Complete training so you can go on to AIT” he responded. “Umm…yes sir, I can do that.” I replied. “I know you can. I can see that you’re a good kid with a lot of heart.You just need to stop showing your azzz to everyone who gets in your way or who doesn’t always tell you what you want to hear. Congratulations on graduating. I hope you enjoy the time with your family. All the arrangements will be made for you. But remember, this is your last chance. The major already thinks I’m a dumbazzz to be giving you this opportunity so don’t mess it up Ms.Jean-Pierre. Make sure you report back ready to complete basic. Got that?” he asked.
“Yes sir. Thank you so much sir. I won’t let you down sir” I said as I extended my hand, giving him a firm handshake then immediately standing to my feet to salute him. Let’s make one thing clear: Just because I’m hypersexual DOES NOT mean that I welcome every sexual advance. I’m relieved that he only had a professional request. And I was so ecstatic about the news, I quickly went to gather my things.
I flew into Sarasota Airport, and attended my high school graduation! Guess what? Remember my bff that I was separated from at basic? She was there too! It was weird between us for the brief moment we spoke, but I was still happy to see her. The ceremony was beautiful and I’m glad I didn’t miss it. I told my parents that I didn’t want a graduation party–so afterwards, I just crashed my bff’s lol. She even let me sit at her head table and we were celebrated together. Throughout the festivities, we managed to catch up. She couldn’t believe I went AWOL & I couldn’t believe she didn’t stay with me. But I had to get over it because she was doing what was best for her and I was doing what was best for me.
Although, I had a splendid time at my graduation, that wasn’t the only reason I came back home. I had some unfinished business. So since the AWOL thing clearly didn’t work–I had one last attempt! I had to tell my father the truth. I had to tell him what the recruiter did. This was the last resort because I knew my father would make me remember this for the rest of his life! (This story STILL manages to come up every Thanksgiving.) But I was left with no choice because the ARMY administration clearly wasn’t trying to do anything about this even though they knew it was fraudulent. I had to woman up and face my father ??. “Hey Dad…”, I started as I sat him down.
Well now, my dad is infuriated. I told him everything. He was mad at me. But thank God he was more upset at the recruiter. “So that explains why so many uniforms came to the house looking for you on several occasions” he mentioned. “Yes, that would be correct. I left the post without permission, but that’s a story for a different time dad. Let’s stay focused.” I said trying to shift the attention off of what I had done and back on to that slimeball of a recruiter. “Well, I guess it’s time to lawyer up and go speak to this recruiter guy” my pops said convinced that there was some big payout at the end of this. Well dad, before we do that, how about we demand a meeting with my assigned post in Sarasota and speak to the company commander there? And if they aren’t willing to take this matter seriously, then we can lawyer up. My dad was STILL convinced that he had a civil suit, but he obliged.
They agreed to speak with us Monday afternoon–the first business day after my father made the call. Me: Business Professional Attire ✔. My dad: Sunday Morning Church Attire ✔ ??. Both looking spiffy! So now, we’re driving–heading to the post, and I’m giving my father the rundown of the facts AGAIN for the 50 millionth time. (I wasn’t worried or anything because my father was a savage when it came down to handling his business & his English was solid with a hint of an accent. [Ohh, where you thought I got my toughness & obstinacy from? My momma? Heck no! She was too meek and supple. RIP Mom ?]). I just wanted to go in there prepared! (I had every document numbered, key parts highlighted and enough copies for a 15-person meeting. I wasn’t playing y’all! Ohh and I left all the originals at home in a safe place jic they decided to pull a fast one and destroy my files and say they have no such recollection. Like I said AGAIN…I had this all figured out.) Now back to this meeting.
Things got real so fast when I looked around the conference room and noticed all the bigwigs present. The only worthless person before me was that sorry azzzz recruiter. I’ve been waiting months to be sitting across this douche to ask him WHY? I never thought I’d get the chance though–the way he avoided me & my bff’s calls since basic. I wondered what was going through his mind at the moment as he sat across from me in disbelief. Me? My disposition? Legs crossed, sitting pretty, looking like the REAL master manipulator in the room thinking: You underestimated me didn’t you? You didn’t think that after you bamboozled me, that I’d have the wits to pull something like this off huh? Shame on you. BELIEVE IT!!
The ARMY personnel thought that they could possibly prove a point by comparing the signature on my father’s driver’s license to that on the consent form because they were almost identical. True, but I have receipts! Remember those additional forms I mentioned in part 3A? One of them my father signed under the false pretense that it was a school form for a physical. That’s what he used! “Please turn to document 6 in your packet, where you will find the archetype used to forge my father’s signature” I said shutting their argument down. I killed the meeting!! All my dad had to say was “take my daughter out NOW because you never had my consent” and we would’ve been straight. But he took the opportunity to speak his mind some more.
He also made it clear that he would have sued the ARMY National Guard & won. But he won’t, because he knows they’ll only turn around and have him killed afterwards and no money was worth his life or peace of mind. Hey! He was probably right. Anyhow, the meeting closed with a forced apology from the recruiter and assurance that my father’s daughter will be discharged immediately. Man, I usually don’t ask my dad for NADA because of our volatile relationship. But he came through this ONE time so I’ll take it. Yesss!! FINALLY–I did it!! GOD DID IT!!
They initially said I didn’t have to report back to basic, but because of the communication barriers with my company there, it was best that I return and wait for them to send for me. And besides, I wanted to go back to collect the rest of my belongings and to see their faces as they watch this azzz walk away, yet again, but this time in VICTORY!! You can doubt many, but don’t doubt this mofo right here, ya hear me?! I slipped right back into my form fitted dress, raised my head high, and click clanked in my heels all the way to where my taxi driver friend was picking me up.
It seemed like I was home almost immediately after we reached a resolution, but I wasn’t out of the ARMY just yet. It took about a year before I received my DD 214 confirming my discharge. I know you’re about to say eww TMI–but a little opposition never stopped me from being inappropriate ?. I have to share this because I remember this like it was yesterday. I was sitting on the toilet doing the # 1 & 2…So I guess we can call it #3 ??butt naked when I got the call from a lady in human resources. “Ms. Jean-Pierre, I wanted to inform you that we have drudged through your case and have completed everything in your favor. However, because you are now 18, you can choose to reenlist at your own discretion. I can have you sit with an HONEST recruiter and we can meet some of the terms initially promised. Would you like to rejoin at this moment?” she expressed with not even an ounce of shame or humiliation. “Excuse me?” I asked. She repeated “I asked if you would like to reenlist in the ARMY Natio…” I cut her off right there. “Absolutely not ma’am!” I said with much frustration. “I would just like to put an end to this madness and move forward with my life. Thank you so much. I’ll keep that in mind for later” I said facetiously then I hung up!
So the question you’re dying to know. What kind of discharge did I receive. Well, I’m not going to tell you just yet! There are 2 key components that play a role in each discharge–the “basis” and “characterization of service”. The former addresses the reason for discharge & the latter refers to the quality of the soldier’s military service. Now STOP ✋✋ RIGHT THERE. ERRRT ?♀️?♀️ before you even get started! I know you’re tempted to think well aww damn, she refused to train, went AWOL, almost performed a sexual favor for the company commander, cursed out the drill sergeants, got demoted, got a recruiter demoted (which is what happened to that fraud of a drill sergeant… he loss 3 ranks ??), etc., it’s fair to assume that her quality of service wasn’t that great lolol. Like I said, STOP IT RIGHT THERE…Look, I can explain! All those actions were provoked because the recruiter took advantage of me as a minor & separated me from my parents! Well that’s at least the argument I made to them & it worked! I was discharged under “Erroneous Enlistment” which in most cases is an honorable discharge. But they played me too and characterized it as “Entry Level Separation”. (I was literally a few days short of the 6 months). So Kay, what does that mean? It means I wasn’t ACTIVE in the military for at least 180 days consecutively so my separation isn’t characterized–which is a good thing too. I’m eligible for a few benefits. And obviously, I could reenlist if I wanted to, but we both know that AIN’T happening EVER!
So where does that leave me? IN AN AWKWARD POSITION! When applying for ANYTHING, I dread the questions: Have you ever served in the Armed Forces or are you a veteran? IDK how to really answer. By definition, my answer to both questions are YES. But I often answer no. Why? What would I say when someone asks me to tell them about my experience? Or how long did you serve–6 months?…How does that sound? EXACTLY! See my dilemma? Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I do use my “V” card for discounts, free food, and $7 driver license replacement fees ? but that’s about it. I really hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed sharing it ???✈️…Dang, I still can’t believe I went AWOL sometimes lol. Nonetheless, thank you for sharing in my journey battle buddy! 10-4!!!! I ❤ you for reading. To all my survivors out there: KEEP ON SURVIVING! PLEASE don’t forget to like, share & leave a comment below.
Remember, while we still have life; let us not merely exist–but instead, L.I.V.E.