Posted on November 8, 2017
Dear My Travel Lover,
Let’s take a second to acknowledge my fine, youngest brother who’s celebrating his birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (DM me for his stats lol) and guess who still holds the mini Bible I sent in 2005 dear to his ❤. Okay, so I’m standing outside of the movies with the man of my dreams and the man of my nightmares lol…What do you think I said?? “Respectfully, I’m not coming right now dad. We’ve already bought tickets. I will come home immediately following the movie” I said calmly and boldly. And I meant it. “If you don’t get in now, then you can move the hell out my house.” my father said, as if to give one last warning or chance to comply.
But that’s when SOS jumped in (before I could respond) and said “I’m sorry about this sir. I really do apologize.” “I’m not talking to you boy–I’m talking to my daughter” my old man said as he dismissed him lol. Then my SOS turned & looked to me and said, “Baby, it’s okay. Just go. Listen to your father. I don’t want you to get in trouble.” “Fine! I’ll pick up my things in the morning” I said dismissing my SOS’s voice of reason. Instead, I grabbed my boo’s hand and made way back into the movies. I didn’t bother looking back but I heard the van tires screech as my father drove off…I immediately turned off my cell because I knew as soon as word got to my mom, she would be blowing me up!
On the outside, I was Ford tough. But on the inside I was a little scared. I kept watching the door because I thought my dad would bust in there and drag me out by my hair or something. “But I had to do this,” I told my lover. “I did all the right things. I got good grades, I worked after school, I volunteered at the hospital, I went to church, etc. Crucify me because I just wanted to go out and have some fun too! Sheesh.” Well, needless to say, we were too frightened to watch the movie so we got the hell up out of there and went to were SOS was staying. Now, instead of just one straggler–his friend had two.
We actually didn’t make love that night. He said something so profound & righteous to me as we were making our bed on the living room floor. He told me that he loved me with his whole heart and he didn’t want God to take me away from him. And since God hates sin, if we continue fornicating, then that sin could lead to the demise of our relationship. And because we both didn’t want that, we decided to practice celibacy for a while. (Told you he was an honorable guy with great conviction ?.) Instead, he just held me all night long as we talked about everything and nothing. We prayed and fell asleep cuddling.
Now please don’t mistake this vow of purity and celibacy for thinking that we hardly made love before this unanimous decision because that’s untrue. Once we got past the first two times–uhh yeah, we got it in wherever we could. Certainly not as often as we’d like but parks, beaches, theme parks–anything outdoors and spontaneous–even sneaking into the men’s bathroom ??.
Our sessions were so passionate. Our souls would connect as we gazed into each other’s eyes. We would lock hands and squeeze so tight as to never let go of that moment. Our toes would even be intertwined as we fondled one another and breathed heavily in each other’s face. I never had a man pay so much attention to every inch & curve of my body. He would touch my scars & kiss them. He wasn’t the best I’ve ever had as far as technicalities or size, but hands down my favorite lover. The passion we shared couldn’t be easily duplicated. We were so, soooo in love. Wow, what an amorous feeling!! I really hope you’ve gotten the opportunity to experience that intense and deep dimension of lovemaking because EVERYONE in ardent love should be able to relate! Anyways, I know I just painted a beautiful picture but SNAP OUT OF IT!! Let’s get back to the story.
Waking up to him was EVERYTHING ??! He made me some scrambled eggs and we spent the entire day in each other’s presence. It was the best day I had had in a while. God, I was so in love! When late nightfall was upon us, I had another good friend of mine, help me get my things. I didn’t want SOS to be anywhere near the situation just in case I was confronted by my father because he had nothing to do with this–THIS WAS BETWEEN ME & MY OLD MAN. And besides, I had already begged my sisters to put all my clothes in yard waste trash bags, so I was all set. “Is dad home?” I called and asked. “No.” little sis responded. “Is Ma home?” “Nope.” she confirmed. “PERFECT! Let’s make this quick,” I said to my friend. We grabbed my bags, loaded them and just like that, I WAS OUT✌✌!
I can’t quite remember if it was record day or whatnot, but I know there was no school that Monday. We were hanging out reading the Holy Scriptures. I’m kidding lol. We playing video games when we heard a knock on the door. We didn’t bother to answer, because it wasn’t our home so we weren’t expecting any company. Without even looking, I heard a voice that I recognized. So I ran to the door & well, well, well; if it isn’t mother dearest & the church friend that got me the hotel room. “Mom? How’d you find me?” I asked scratching my head because I was pretty certain I had covered my tracks. “Don’t worry about all of that. I don’t care about that.” she cried in Creole. “I’m not mad. I miss you. I just need you to come home with me.” she said as she was giving thanks to God for her finding me. “I can’t Ma. Dad told me that I had to move out if I stayed at the movies. He doesn’t want me there nor do I want to be there.” I said as I looked away.
Supplication after supplication, with my mom in tears, I decided to go home. I told her I would come later this evening–but she wanted me home now! So I gave in–under one condition–that I wasn’t going to sleep inside that house. Where are you going to sleep? she asked inquisitively. I dunno. Maybe outside in the van or in the garage (I was so melodramatic). Agreed! Wherever you choose, I will sleep with you. So I loaded up the car with my trash bags full of clothes & headed home. And she did in fact sleep with me in our little red Quest mini van that night (SIP my beautiful mommy?).
You’re probably curious what happened when I got home…Nothing. My dad didn’t speak to me & I didn’t speak to him. We just ignored the very existence of each other–kind of like how things are now lol. I know he was keeping the peace for the sake of my mother & so was I. Truthfully, I often wondered if he genuinely cared for me or if he was more concerned with my actions or behaviors jeopardizing his ministry. Ohh honey, don’t let me just tell it! There are many pastors who put their ministries over their families. That was how things were in our household. I know my father was ecstatic when I turned 18 (let me shout for him lol ?♂️?♂️?♂️). He was probably like well, she’s considered an adult now, so thank God, whatever she does can’t affect my ministry anymore hahaha. Thinking I made it through Lord, I made it through ?????.
Once things settled a little at home, I went out and bought SOS a wedding band. We got all dressed up and went out right by the riverfront where I lost my virginity and we embraced each other close. Believe it or not, we exchanged vows that afternoon. We were confident that God was the only witness that we needed present. We committed ourselves to one another and married our own damn selves. Our love for each other was questionless.
But his separated parents didn’t think so. They felt I brainwashed him or put voodoo on him. Honestly, that’s only because the love they shared didn’t work. Maybe they were jelly. IDK ?♀️?♀️ Their amour wasn’t as captivating as our lovestory, so they wanted to break us up for good. Neither one of us seen that coming though! His father invited me to Greenville, South Carolina to meet him and his family. I was honored. So my SOS, his siblings and I all drove up with his mother to about half way, where his father met us and took us the rest of the way.
We all had an amazing time with the family. We played outdoors, shared stories and everything! (But this invite later proved to be a freaking trap.) But my time for basic was a couple days away. I still had to fly down to Miami only to fly right back up to Columbia, South Carolina so I had to leave ahead of my beau. I kissed him passionately–can’t remember if we consummated that night–actually we did ??! Then I left!
Well, he called me like 2 days later sooooo upset! Baby, what’s wrong? What’s going on I asked. My dad left for Florida with my siblings but didn’t wake me up. What do you mean he didn’t wake you up?? He left without me. I’ve been calling him since I woke up this morning no answer. Hold on. That’s my mother calling me on the other line. So I waited for minutes on hold. I even hung up and called him right back lol. (WHAT? I was trying to figure out what the hell was going on with my man.) So he answered, but I can tell he was so devastated by the news his mother had given him. “What is it love?” I asked as I was freaking out at the airport! “What’s going on babe?”
On Sunday, we’ll talk about how far his parents were willing to go to break us up. And how that had affected us–well me–10 years later. Are we happy? So do we regret not getting back together? Have I ever been in love like that again? (I can’t spill his truth lol, just mine!) Ohh and that n****h, refused to take me back years later ??. We’ll discuss all of this next week. Merci encore mon ké for sharing in my love journey! I ❤ you for reading. To all my survivors out there: KEEP ON SURVIVING! PLEASE don’t forget to like, share & leave a comment below of your first love experience.
Remember, while we still have life; let us not merely exist–but instead, L.I.V.E.